why should we or even do we and will we like the opposite sex?.
why is it wrong to do so?
laws and religious thinkings are all human made. if so then what makes you so sure it is absolutely 'correct'?
why shouldnt we do so?
haa.. it seems that cinderella complex not only applies for girls only. in this ever illusional time, guys too hoped for something external to change their to make it ever so sparkling, ever so bright.
.. but it all is just a delusion.
sensationalised, does love actually do such magic? and does it even have the ability to fill the void deep down in everyone's heart?
if there is no prince charming riding a white house in shining armour who can revive you from a thousand years of sleep, then in reality, love isnt so great afterall.
is it something exaggerated to make our seeemingly insignificant little lives more meaningful and worthed living for?. . i dont know.
a few moments ago i finally ask her what i have been really want to ask.
even though there was no answer, but i was happy.
thank you. you really must be happy ya?
sorry= feeling pity, regret or sympathy.
that's what the dictionary told me.
i would remembger once the teacher told me sorry means i would not do it again.
iahh.. to think i forget both the meaning le..
sorry.
you have taught me alot of lessons.
i guess you were right..
i will try my best to grow up de.
for you or for her.
i'll remember deep in my heart that i will think before i do anything.
thank you.
i swear beer sucks.
haa.. somehow i look down on people who wants something but yets didnt work hard and fight for it.
but ironically, i am also sitting back wishing something would happen even if i knew it would never be..
.. .. after that one time i ought to be happy enough already, contented. but why would i find myself yearning for more..
everytime something happens, she would appear in my mind, telling me how happy i was when i was with her..
even though thing would be impossible, but i am still hoping it wont be..
haa! silly me.
no other way out.
out of what i am feeling now..
thought i could lose myself in books,
but it all will still come to an end and back into this reality that i want to face no more..
like what else can i do?..
if only alcohol or running still works..
it's been another ages since i came to this refuge.
thought it was no longer needed..
but back here i am, pacing inside it restlessly.
everything now seemed so delusional..
staying in a relationship, being together..
what is it that i really want?
having now broken her to search for this answer, i no longer have the right to love..
sinned forever for ending it just this..
ruining the happiness that stood before us with my own hands.
what have i done?..
subjecting her to this misery for the flaw in my heart and for the mistake i have made..
cutting her too as i bleed.
and now as she does, i can do nothing to help heal that wound..
crying so desperately, hoping someone would comfort her, heal her..
... ...
-----
1 year 4 months and 12 days.
i gotta be strong. stand up, and recover.. so that as she see i do, she feel better..
make this break away worthwhile so that it wont be for nothing. and blood would not have flowed for no reason..
i love you too my dear..
telling her i no longer want her to see my leaving back, no longer want to hurt her anymore.. but little did i know that her leaving backview would have brought me down to my knees in my heart.
i'm flawed.. sorry.
sorry..
been long since i last blogged..
thought i would have forsaken it..
but i have been lying to myself all these while.
iahh.. what am i doing?.. .. ..
`me and my stupid heart
flawed product.. me.
things seemed to have cooled a little to the point it's almost chilled..
it all seems so surreal now.
unsure of what he has done last night, he turned to stare into the shadows as it seems to drift back.
back to indus road last night where he stood for close to an hour worrying..
as to whether he was there as a friend or as someone who liked her, he didnt know..
but he would be turned a deaf ear to since he reached.
the feeling that churned inside him then unidentified. though subtly familiar, but it wasnt known..
yingbin
ice][72
13th july 1987
adores________
hates_________
People: liars
music's playing_____
Artist: Enya
Song: Waterfall Piano
wishing upon a star___
that i could feel this way no more
Layout By
|evOne|